Lawson's birth story- part three

Warning... photo OVERLOAD.

*I'm not going to detail all of the days following Lawson's birth because honestly, it's all a blur. And frankly I'm ok with that.*

Several hours after he had been taken to the nursery for his bath, shots, etc. (with my parents watching through the window) the nurse came in to tell me they were having someone from the NICU come take a look at him because he was "grunting" when he breathed. It didn't seem like a big deal. An hour or so passed and the NP came in to tell me they were taking him for a chest x-ray, then they called to tell me it looks "bad" and they are admitting him to the NICU. BTW, David was at home getting Crawford bathed and settled in bed, but thankfully my parents and Ash had decided to stay until he got back. I was freaking out. I asked to see him before he left for NI, and they wheeled him in my room inside an isolette. Cue the tears. When David got back enough time had passed for us to be able to go back and see him, and I was a wreck. He was on a CPAP (+7), 40% oxygen, OG tube (just to get the extra air out of his belly- wasn't getting "fed" for several more days) and an IV for antibiotics. They told us it was one of three issues: 1) fluid in his lungs that would absorb within a couple days (most likely), 2) a surfactant deficiency 3) an infection - aka, pneumonia.

I started pumping immediately and continued to through the night, and all of the following week. I felt like a cow, but my milk came in quickly and I was producing way more than what L needed. In fact, we came home with a bag full of frozen milk that he didn't even use while he was in there! Breastfeeding is a high priority to me, so I was committed to doing whatever it took to get him well established.

Monday evening we met with the neonatologist, and she explained that it was definitely pneumonia. She was so kind and went over his x-rays and all the details with us. I was very emotional because I knew that meant at least a seven day stay in the NICU while they administered his antibiotics. It was a long, hard, lonely week in the hospital, but the Lord sustained us all. He healed Lawson's body, and he gave us grace to get through challenges we never expected to face.

The details of the rest of the week aren't important except to know that the Lord healed Lawson and we got to bring home a healthy little boy. The NICU is a sobering place full of very small and very sick babies, many without much hope or love. Though we were obviously constantly praying for our boy, we were also very driven to prayer for the other little lives we encountered. Jesus, come quickly!

This is God’s story. The time is on God’s clock. And it is not complex to Him.
God is not freaked out. The unknown can be downright terrifying. But God? He is not afraid. He just isn’t, and I am so. incredibly. thankful.
Life is so complicated. But God calls us to trust Him. To rest in Him as He holds us in His hands, as He fulfills His promise to work the details of our everything together for our good.

- from my devotion on Monday, September 23 - She Reads Truth 

The first time we saw him in the NICU. Broke my heart.

Crawford came to visit on Sunday, and we had some time to the two of us. I missed him like CRAZY. I hadn't been away from him for more than two nights before, so nine in a row (without hardly seeing him during the day) nearly killed me.

When Crawford was with Greg and Jodi while I was delivering Lawson, they had him finger paint this adorable sign. It was only fitting to put it on L's bed. And our sweet nurse Tara made the "Lawson" name badge for him.

Leigh and Laine came to visit one night and brought milkshakes and goody bags!

Kangaroo care. Note the wonky screen set up... We had to construct a fort with sheets tied onto things for every kangaroo care or feeding time.

I sent lots of pictures like this back and forth to Ash and David as my supply gradually began to increase. The doctors and nurses kept encouraging me and telling me to bring back any drop I was able to pump. One time I just carried the pump parts back to the NICU because they had a few little gummy drops of stuff on them, and I wanted to see if they could use them.

Off the CPAP!

These kill me. Sharing a snack with Harley and chatting with mommy.

Our FAVORITE nurse- Brittany. Praise the Lord she was there the night they admitted him and the following three nights. I don't know what I would have done without her. We literally just hung out all night after David came home to be with Crawford and I was at the hospital by myself. 

Under the billi lights for about 24 hours to reduce his jaundice. Ash and Heather came to visit during this period, and I hated that they couldn't see his sweet face.

Daddy got to help with his first (NICU) bath. I hated that IV in his head, but he totally didn't mind.

Lots of pictures and face timing flew back and forth between our house and the hospital. 

Obviously sick. My poor buddy. This mama's heart could hardly stand having two sick boys that I couldn't comfort or make better. I quickly learned to trust the Lord in a way I never knew possible before. 

Freedom! No more oxygen! Barbara, a nurse practitioner, became my favorite person Thursday! She took him off the bili lights, the oxygen and the OG/NG tube! I told her I was adding her to the Christmas card list.

When they moved my "rooming in" room, I took the Lawson sign off the door and moved it to his bed. I know he was only there a week, but I wanted it to feel as special as it would if he had been coming home right away. This was his "big boy bed" when they moved him from the slanted bed thing to the normal bassinet. 

First outfit! (Same as Crawford's)

The last night we spent at the hospital, Lawson got to stay with me! It was a long night (I changed seven poop diapers before 3am), but I was just so thankful to have him with me and to hold him as much as possible. It did make me miss David ten times more than I already did...

Crawford and David came on Sunday- intending that we would all leave together. Of course the discharge process took longer than we thought, so they had to get home for nap time before Lawson was able to go home but we had a good visit anyway.

Checking out his brother's hat.

... and HOME. Sunday, September 29.

Blessings:

• When we got back to our room from learning that it was in fact, pneumonia, we had a gift waiting for us from Stephanie Blackiston (friend from church who is due 2 days after I was with baby #6). It was the perfectly timed reminder from the Lord that he was going to take care of us. That simple gesture was what allowed me to sleep that night.
• Facebook. Instagram. Texts. Emails. People blew me away with their sweet comments, thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement. 
• My mom and dad left town on Monday after we felt like we had a handle on the week. Literally just before they left my hospital room, we found out that Crawford had a fever. By Tuesday afternoon I was in a panic over how we were going to manage the rest of the week in order for David to see me and Lawson at all, while still juggling a sickish Crawford. So, they came back on Wednesday morning. I know he wore them out (especially since he was so out of sorts and whiny/cranky/needy), but I literally don't know how we could have survived that week without them. They went back home before Lawson was home from the hospital (because we didn't know when that was going to be), so they still haven't even gotten to hold him! Talk about selflessness...
• Ashley and Chase started helping with Crawford on Friday before I was really even induced, and they continued being our go-to helpers the entire week. We ran them ragged, especially when Mom and Dad were in town, because they stayed at their house. They never complained about being put out or run down, and were always there for whatever we needed. I know it was asking a lot of them because after the dust settles, they are the ones who live here and will still be around helping out. 
• Jodi & Greg, Camille, Sam Hudson and Leigh for taking a shift with Crawford at the drop of a hat. Literally, Sam skipped Bible study with 45 minutes warning to relieve my sister of Crawford duty. 
• Drs. Blake, Bell and Lisa. Nurses Brittany, Tara, Rebecca, Audrey, Tammy and Shari. We were SO well taken care of in the NICU at Erlanger.
• I was able to "room in" on the Mother/Baby Unit for four nights (basically I was a squatter. No meals, linen service, nurses, etc.), and when that ran out I kind of panicked about what to do. I couldn't imagine going home and having Lawson take a bottle all night instead of nursing. Really I just couldn't imagine going home without my baby if I could avoid it. I asked everyone for help finding a place to sleep. I knew there was a bed somewhere in that hospital! SO many people were helpful, and as it turned out one of the "Care by Parent" rooms IN the NICU was being vacated that day (there are only two. and 55 baby beds!). PTL.
• Lawson never got any nutrition (other than TPN and lipids through his IV) other than my breast milk. The doctors and nurses were all so great to take it slow and just give him whatever I was able to produce rather than force formula. It took my milk about five days to come in after Crawford was born, so I was stressed about being able to provide what Lawson needed- especially since I wasn't able to nurse him or even be with him for the majority of the time. The Lord answered that prayer in a big way, and my supply was bountiful!
• I came home to a mound of gifts. So many people had dropped things off, and it was such a sweet reception to come home to! Not to mention, we have meals provided for us for two solid weeks and counting.
• David was able to have a flexible work schedule the whole week we were in the NICU. He did go in Wednesday, Thursday and Friday so he didn't feel so behind, but his boss and coworkers were extremely accommodating. They even sent a gift box from the Bread Basket home with us! 

The list could (and probably should) go on and on and on, and I'll likely add to it over time so I don't forget all the little things that were wonderful about this less-than-wonderful experience. Even though we've only been home a week, it almost feels like the whole thing never happened. God is good. All the time.